Monday, March 26, 2012
Possibly the Worst Musical Ever - We Watched It So You Don't Have To!
In case you're not familiar with it, it's a loose (okay, incoherent) narrative told using the unbelievable device of Peter Frampton and the Bee Gees singing Beatles songs. There is no dialogue, save some weird narration by George Burns who plays a mayor (named Mr. Kite, of course) and ends up bound and gagged in a wax museum.
What's it about? Who knows? Here's what I do know:
*There are cameos by Earth, Wind, and Fire, Alice Cooper, Aerosmith, Carol Channing, and Carel Struycken (who I recognized as the Giant from Twin Peaks).
*There is a distinct lack of choreography despite the mind-numbing number of dance sequences.
*There are ladies wearing rhinestones on their eyelashes and lame shorts.
*There's Billy Preston playing the grandfather of Peter Frampton (?!) who doubles as a fantastical weathervane that turns into a gold-lame-suit-wearing magic man who can shoot lazer beams from his fingers and bring the dead back to life.
*There's an strange fetishization of boy scout outfits and dollar signs, as well as two scary black massage-giving robots with shifty eyes.
According to Wikipedia, the film's producers hoped it would be "This generation's Gone With the Wind". Take my word for it, it's not.